Though oft accused of idle pomp and bombasticism, the Moustache Club certainly endorses nothing of the sort. Their esteemed moustachioed envoys have striven for nothing save three goals: the betterment of society through the medium of volunteer labor, the promotion of glorious facial hair growth upon the upper lip, and talking like this. Females may join as well, so long as they make a valiant effort to produce a moustache.