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Carls Spread the Word About the Northfield Clothing Shortage

September 20, 2006 at 11:00 am

This year's opening Frisbee toss at New Student Week included 507 discs and a fly-by parade of 39 Carls in the buff. Such a striking display of tan-lines meant only one thing: The city of Northfield is in dire need of clothing. Hundreds of incoming freshmen stood in jaw-dropped reverence as the au nauturel activists drew attention to this important cause.

The parade of pants-droppers undoubtedly hoped to inspire onlookers to fill donation centers with second-hand sweaters, hats and mittens before this fall turns into another chilly Minnesotan winter.

This source of activism is by no means a new phenomenon at Carleton. For decades free-spirits, athletes, thespians, modern flower children and just plain do-gooders have taken advantage of the universal reaction to eyefuls of skin. Previous use of this skintastic tactic has been seen in the advocation of new unicycling team uniforms and raises for nude models in Observational Drawing classes, as well as the freedom of expression and unparalleled campus-love.

Most attempts have been hailed as wildly successful and strikingly efficient on part of the activist groups. “Some people chain themselves to trees. We just drop our pants,” said one faithful member of the clothes-less pack.

In related incidents, a handful of optimists bared their souls (and then some) at the freshman talent show, and one lone streaker ran a lap around the Activities Fair in a solo bid for support of the Northfield clothing shortage.

Though undecided about the location of their next campaign, the nude activists assured us that we may look to past activities for clues to future events. As large audiences are generally key to a successful flesh-rally, future sightings are likely to take place at convocations, a capella performances, campus-wide barbecues, and the most densely populated spot on campus—the Libe.

Ignorant non-Carls may coin these men and women so faithful to a selfless cause as “silly streakers” or “inappropriate imbeciles”. But most of us rest easier at night knowing that with each activist exhibition, Carleton is putting forth a charitable agenda to the world.