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2011 Winter Issue 6 (February 18, 2011)

Why your liberal arts degree should make you hate JB

February 18, 2011
By Carletonian editors

When Justin Bieber burst through the collective womb of Usher and YouTube onto the pop scene, we fell deeply in love with him. He was everything American teens (and yeah, twenty-somethings, we’re not ashamed of it) had ever dreamed of. A combination of Justin Timberlake, a hamster and Head and Shoulders two-in-one conditioning shampoo, he had defied the odds of a single-parent upbringing and sang his way into our hearts. His young naivete was charming and we loved watching him flick his hair on Ellen. Then, this week, all that changed.

The Biebster made the mistake of doing an interview for a magazine whose main demographic is not 14-year-old girls. This was absolutely unnecessary, but he’s trying to promote his autobiographical film “Never Say Never” and get taken more seriously or something, so we’ll forgive him for trying. What we won’t forgive is how woefully ignorant Juice Box is of everything. Seriously, literally everything.

The interview began innocently enough. Bustin Jieber charismatically blundered his way through a few political questions. (He’s not super into political parties but he knows things in Korea aren’t awesome.) Then he was asked about abortion. Way to hit those hot topic buttons, Rolling Stone. This was Baby Jeezy’s response: "I really don't believe in abortion. It's like killing a baby?" How about in cases of rape? "Um. Well, I think that's really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that."

Excuse us. Everything happens for a reason??? Seriously? We don’t need to give J.Bizzle any more grief about this because the media is doing a pretty good job of tearing him apart. Just know that Justice Buttons is no longer on our awesome list. Maybe among his tween girl fans these comments won’t dampen the love, but his liberal college-educated supporters aren’t pleased. Sure, we’ll still sing along when “One Less Lonely Girl” comes on in a Sevy quad on Saturday but our image of His Royal Justiness is forever shattered, as it should be. We no longer look to him as a picture of innocence, but as another uninformed, undereducated Canadian singer.

His hoards of young fans don’t see that yet. They don’t realize he is a good performer, a talented human, but that doesn’t make him God. He is much like a pro athlete; idolized for his charisma but not the stuff of a true role model. The tragedy of it all is that JB will probably always be more influential than, say, Nancy Pelosi. For someone who has captured the attention of so many young girls, he cares remarkably little for their well-being. Then again, such is the curse of being young, famous, and a moron.

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