SENIORS BEAT THE WORLD, 7-7!

 Dateline:  Bell Field (June 1, 2010) 

            For those of you who could not see the finish of the English Department’s annual “Seniors vs. the World” Softball Game at yesterday’s departmental barbeque, here’s an update.   Lowering skies and a downpour earlier in the afternoon threatened to force a cancellation of the contest.  But just in the nick of time – amidst heaps of freshly barbequed veggie burgers and hot dogs in the Cave – the skies brightened, clouds scattered and grounds-inspector Professor Pierre Hecker (emerging, for the evening, from his sabbatical oasis) gave the go-ahead.  Picnic, no lightning.  Game on! 

            Chris Burke was the first senior batter at the plate and he immediately hit a home run, so it looked like the Seniors might take a dominant lead early.  But the World’s defense tightened.  Actually, that’s not true.  The World’s defense didn’t tighten, as several World fielders ran away from the ball as it streaked into the outfield; sudden empty channels opened up regularly in the World outfield.   Still, there were highlights.  Professor Greg Smith (a new presence for the World:  we blessed few!) made an acrobatic catch for an “out.”  Master (cricket) batsman Arnab Chakladar surprised the senior infield when he ran to second base while still retaining his bat.  He reluctantly relinquished his bat when told that the rules required it.  (When not batting, Professor Chakladar provided some literate heckling of the Seniors that produced positive results for the World.)  Somehow at the end of the first inning the score was 1-2, in favor of the World.

            The Seniors, however, did not lose their cool and they began the second inning in impressive fashion.  SDA Wes Moore stepped to the plate, swang hard at a pitch and sent his bat in a high elliptical arc over the World’s dugout.  The World, which had never seen such a thing in a departmental softball game, was bewildered.  Herr Hecker retrieved the bat.  The World was now clearly concerned about what the Seniors might throw at them next and the Seniors, quickly sensing the World’s apprehension, seized the moment and went on an offensive spree, scoring five runs.  Batters Julia Gold, Marjorie “Haven’t I struck out yet?” Harrington, Allyson Herbst, Alex Gibson, Annie Rees, Emily Howell, Stephanie Strother and other seniors all displayed strong offensive skills and creative new batting stances at the plate.  Senior Heather McPherson, for her part, wandered into the World dugout – “a spy in the House of Love” – to see what she could see.  Matt “Chugsmith” Reindel joined his senior teammates mid-game and quickly proved an offensive force to be reckoned with.  The Seniors were aglow with confidence and clearly felt that they were more than a match for the World.

            The World, however, did not give up.  Behind the big bats of Todd Anderson, Joe Decker, Carsten Gehring, Professor Peter Balaam, Helen Grossman and others, the World helped keep the score close.  Camille Hommeyer and Sally Larkins had some stylish at-bats; Professor Smith had a reputable hit; and Lingerr “I’m just the photographer” Senghor amazed the crowd with her one-handed batting style, which resulted in a base hit.   The World also revealed its secret weapon in the third inning, when Young Master Will Balaam, now playing catcher, clearly unnerved the senior batters with his home-plate chatter (repeatedly calling out “Garlic Bread!” or “Cheeseburger!” as the pitch came in). 

            As has become the case over the years, the game finished in thrilling fashion, with the World getting the last at-bat, in the bottom of the 4th inning, with the score in favor of the Seniors, 7-5.  Will Balaam was up first, and hit a line-drive to Chris Burke, who had clearly had one cheeseburger too many from Young Prince Balaam.  One out!  Kevin Kowalewski got a base hit and then young Natalie Balaam made it safely to first and, on the ensuing play, survived a kerfuffle at second and was “safe.”   Professor Raylor had a big hit that helped bring in the runs that tied the game 7-7 with two outs.  Then, with the bases loaded and the game in the balance, senior Davey Bendiksen made a leaping, balletic catch that might have inspired Carl Sandburg to write a poem (“Davey Bendiksen, hog-butcher of the World . . .  [and so on]”).  The game ended in a tie.  But the consensus, at least in the senior dugout, was that “all ties go to the seniors.”  The World, being a good sport, conceded.  So once again, this year’s Seniors can now safely enter the world, knowing that they can handle anything it throws at them and that they can even throw a few things, like Wes Moore’s bat, right back in return.  That’s a life lesson worth a few slices of garlic bread, don’t you think?

Your humble scribe, from the dugout,

Mike Kowalewski