The Virginities by Laura Corbin

“Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do…”

“And you want your first time to be with me?”

“Yes...”

Kelsey looked up at the mass of twisted metal glinting in the summer sun. She squinted at it suspiciously. It sparkled innocently, quietly. It could be fun. Then came the sound of screaming approaching rapidly from a distance. Quiet, loud, louder, deafening. As they zoomed by, Kelsey tried to make out their faces, but they were going too fast and were gone too quickly. She could see their arms, though. Arms stretched high (or low, when they were upside down), with open hands and fingers spread wide, reaching for something. Reaching for a certain feeling. What was it like, she wondered.

“What’s it like?” she asked Jake.

Jake took off his baseball cap and fanned his freckled face thoughtfully “It’s fun. It cools you down,” now waving his hat at her. “It will feel good on a day like this, trust me. That’s why the lines are so long, see?”

He replaced his cap, and offered his hand. “Come on. For me?”

Kelsey eyed the hand suspiciously. Shaking her head, she looked back up at the metal that cut the cloudless sky into pieces. She looked down at her flip-flops and wriggled her pink toes, sun worn as they always were by the last day of summer. “Yes or no” questions were her least favorite kind. They weren’t as simple as the “true or false” questions that were on the tests at school. If something isn’t a no, it might not be a yes either. What about maybes?

“Maybe. Let’s just stand in line,” she said reluctantly, “and then we’ll see.”

They linked arms and approached the end of the line that zigzagged down the fenced path. Eventually the line disappeared into a door in a dark warehouse-like building where the screamers disappeared also when the ride slowed to a stop.

“I feel like a cow being herded into a slaughter house,” Kelsey said, only half-joking. She gazed squinting up into Jake’s face.

“You’re such a vegetarian,” he laughed. “Remember when I didn’t eat meat for a whole week for you?”

“I thought you would overdose on protein bars.” She meant to roll her eyes, but at that moment the screaming and the roaring approached and she shut them instead, cringing and feeling the burst of air blow her hair from her sweaty neck as they passed.

Jake appeared not to notice the cringe. “Hey, I gotta get my protein from somewhere.” He paused. “Remember when I went to see that musical with you. That was pretty brave of me, right?”

“Into the Woods isn’t scary.”

“Musical theater is scary.” Pause. “Listen. You don’t want to do this, I can tell. We don’t have to. I can pick something else for my last thing. I want to end this summer right.”

His last thing. The final part of the deal they had made on the last day of school in June. The school administration had distributed what they called abstinence cards and what everyone else called totally inappropriate for a public school. You signed the card, promising never to have premarital sex, and kept it in your wallet or somewhere easily accessible in case you needed to remind yourself in an emergency. Ridiculous, Kelsey had thought to herself. No one was going to tell her what to do. That’s when Kelsey and Jake made their agreement. They had thought it was funny. The school was in the wrong, so they were in the right. Right? Kelsey had agreed only because she had been sure that Jake would never go through with it.

“Meet my parents” she had said. They had been dating for over a year, and he had still never met them. To her great surprise and pleasure, he met her parents, and even got along with them. “Watch a scary movie with me,” he had said. She had nightmares for a week, but was too ashamed to tell him.

“Paint your toenails. Pink.” He gritted his teeth and did it. The nail polish had worn off by now.

“Play videogames for twelve hours straight with me.” She got a headache.

“Eat a whole pint of ice cream.” He puked and she felt guilty.

“Try a beer.” She tried.

“Play Barbies with my little sisters.” Her sisters insisted that he be “Gymnast Barbie,” and he didn’t even ask to trade for a Ken.

After the ninth round, Kelsey was nervous. She didn’t want to go back on her word. Look at all the new things he had tried for her. Before she fell asleep at night, she would close her eyes and imagine those ten pink toenails. This was love, wasn’t it? Trying new things. Compromising. Puking and nightmares and headaches.

Maybe not.

The hard part was, it had to be something that she had already done. It had to be something where he was a virgin and she was not. What had she done that Jake would never do?

“Shoplift.” He went to the mall, and returned with a heart pendant necklace, which he presented to her with great pride.

That was it. He had done it. Now she had to do this. They would get on the ride. She would scream a little and be scared. It would be over in a minute. And then they would go to Jake’s house and his mom would leave for work and they would do something neither of them had ever done before. They had promised each other.

The line inched forward. The people zoomed by. The summer was almost over. They entered the warehouse. It was dark and smelled like sweat. Shouts echoed off the walls. They were at the front of the line. They were going next.

“What if it breaks?” Kelsey asked, looking at the empty tracks.

“It won’t.” He squeezed her hand.

“What if…” her voice trembled, “what if I get on, and it starts, and then I decide I don’t want to do it – that I want it to stop – that I still want to be a rollercoaster virgin?”

He looked at her. He looked like he was about to cry. “Let’s go,” he mumbled.

I hurt his feelings. I disappointed him. He’s going to dump me.

Jake led her back through the line. She focused on the back of his head, unaware of the stares and smirks of the people they passed, people who were braver than her. Jake’s opinion was the only one that mattered now. She wished that they could start over again at the back of the line. Waiting with him wasn’t like waiting at all. Kelsey loved sitting at a restaurant table with him before the food came. They had nothing to do but look at each other and talk, and she liked that. Once the food was put on the table, they got distracted. There were more things to think about. And then it was only a matter of time before the night was over.

They left the ride, and they each called their parents to pick them up.

“I thought you were going to Jake’s house afterward,” said Kelsey’s mom, sounding annoyed.

“We changed our minds,” Kelsey said quietly.

They sat down to wait. This they had done before. They had waited all day. They had waited all summer.

“I have to tell you something,” Jake began.

He likes someone else. He’s not a virgin after all.

“I didn’t steal the necklace. I bought it.”

Pause. The cheerful theme park music blared in the background.

“I was going to buy it for you anyway, and then when you told me I had to steal something… I’m sorry I lied to you. I didn’t want to steal anything, but I didn’t want to disappoint you either.”

It was like she was seeing him for the first time. He had been nervous the whole summer, too. He wasn’t ready either. She didn’t mean to, but she said it.

“I love you.”

He started. “Was that a virginity?” he asked.

She nodded.

“I love you too,” he said. He gave her a mischievous smile. “You know that’s our tenth one this summer, right?”

“Don’t make me take it back.”

“Just joking.”

They wrapped their arms around each other. Summer was over. No regrets.