Blue to Gray by Megan Molteni

She woke as the first whispers of dawn filled the car with rosy noise. Her forehead was cold, and her neck stiff from a night of sleeping awkwardly against the window. She yawned.

“Morning.” Jack smiled over at her as he continued to steer the car along winding roads. They had been driving through the night, trying to make the mountains by morning. She looked down at her white uniform shirt, its usual ironed stiffness having surrendered to the inevitable wrinkles of a long car ride.

“Where are we?”

“Just passed the park entrance about twenty minutes ago. You slept right through it.”

“Oh. So we’re here.” She still felt groggy, her thoughts coming in fuzzy and her words tasting thick in her mouth. She looked out the window. The grass grew high along the road, but retreated under the dense cover of the evergreens to little more than an errant tuft poking through decaying detritus here and there. The road wound like a snaking river, gently cradling the car in its tarmac current.

Only hours before, she had been punching her final timesheet, signing off of her last shift at the restaurant. Stefano and the others had wanted her to stay and drink at the bar, send her off to college in style. She had refused. Not only was she underage, but Jack was going to be picking her up promptly at ten to get a head start on their las weekend of the summer.

“Hey. Ash, look!” Jack was pointing through the windshield, his stare lofted upward to the blushing sky. She allowed her eyes to follow the arc of his gaze.

“Oh wow.” She saw it. The enormous span of wings, the willowy curve of its alabaster neck. A great blue heron soared just beyond the little blue Toyota. Jack was trying to keep one eye on the road and one on the majestic bird as it continued to fly overhead. Further on she could see the road curving sharply left, and Ashley expected the bird to continue its own course, off somewhere to wade in a placid pond where the water was clear and the fish lazy. But instead it turned, following the low sweep of the car. When the road swung right, so too did the heron, as though bound to the same undulations of tar and concrete.

“I wonder why it’s doing that?” Jack asked. “It’s almost like it’s following us.” “Or maybe it’s guiding us.” She said, still somewhat sleepily.

“Yeah sure.” Jack snorted. “Guiding us where? This road ends at the lake.

I don’t think I need a bird to tell me who me how to get there.” Ashley looked at him but didn’t respond. She kept her eyes focused on their winged companion: its effortless handling of each gust of wind, its quiet beauty. She hoped it would stay with them a while longer. It was nice having something to talk about. She didn’t think the silence would be so easily broken once they were on trail, alone in the yawning stillness of the woods.

“I heard that in Native American legend herons are supposed to be bringers of good luck for anyone who sees them.”

“Well let’s hope so,” he said glancing again up at the bird. “Remember the campsite we had last year? It was a goddamn swamp. Maybe with some luck we could get one on the beach this time.”

“Yeah. That’d be nice.”

“The water’s too cold this time of year for swimming, but at least there wouldn’t be any mosquitoes,” he went on. But Ashley wasn’t listening anymore. She was staring hard, her eyes squinting through the hazy light at something in the distance. Jack was still talking, his neck craned back, checking the progress of their flighted friend.

“Jack.”

“If we’re really lucky we could even get one with a campfire spot,” He continued his eyes still adrift.

“Jack. Slow down.”

“What?”

“Slow down the car. Now.”

“What? Why?”

“Look.” She was pointing through the windshield, on the driver’s side. He slowed the car. The heron, alone now, flew noiselessly on.

#

In the distance, through the early morning mist rising from the asphalt, two lone figures were walking. Their backs were to the car, but Ashley could tell they were young, not much older than she. One was tall and lanky, with narrow shoulders. The other, for what he lacked in height, made up for in width. He was thick the way a stack of cinder blocks was. As the car inched closer, she could see that the tall one seemed to be carrying something large and yellow. The other seemed to be cradling one of his arms to his chest. They both walked with a slow and stilted gait, like men without anywhere to go home to.

“Come on Ash, don’t freak me out like that. They’re probably just out for a walk.”

“Jack. It’s five in the morning. We’re in the middle of nowhere. And look, one of them isn’t wearing shoes.” He narrowed his eyes, straining to see. He looked back at her blankly.

“Really? I can’t see that far.”

“I’m telling you, he’s only wearing socks.”

“Ok, ok. So what? You want me to stop?” Ashley suddenly became conscious of the raised hair along her arms. She shivered. But it wasn’t cold inside the car. The first rays of the sun were warming her legs, her face, her hands. But the hairs wouldn’t stand down. The car continued to slowly inch closer, barely moving now.

“I don’t know. I feel like probably we should. But I just have a bad feeling.” She swallowed hard. There was now a prickling, tingling sensation inside her, and it was growing with each word she spoke. “There’s nothing out here for miles. So where did these guys come from? They didn’t just walk out of the woods. Something’s not right.” The car was nearly upon them now. But the two young men made no notice of the low engine rumble. They kept their unhurried pace, kept their backs turned.

“Is that blood on that guy’s shirt?” Jack turned to her, his eyes flashing fear. “We’ve got to stop. They could be in trouble.”

“Then why aren’t they trying to flag us down? I’m telling you, it’s not right.”

“Well, we’re not just going to drive by. Don’t worry. I’ll do the talking.”

“Jack no! I’m serious, I don’t feel good about this.”

“I’m serious too. Don’t worry. I got this.”

“Jack. Be careful.” But he had already turned, rolling down the window, and her whisper glanced harmlessly unheard off the small of his back.

“Hey! You guys alright?”

The car was right alongside them now. The taller one continued walking, but the shorter one stopped at the sound. He turned to face them, and Ashley could see one of his arms caked in dry blood, the front of his white t-shirt resembling a butcher’s apron. The fingers were limp, and the blood still looked shiny in places. But it was his face that shot white-hot panic through her veins. It was dark, with black eyes shelved deep beneath tough brows. The eyes were like two pools of unpolished ebony. No color gleamed beneath the surface, no speck of light reflected out. They were dead. Lifeless.

He did not speak. Just stared into the car, looking at nothing.

Jack tried again. “You look hurt. Can we help you?” No reply. Ashley could hear now the alarm growing in his voice, but she couldn’t look over. Her eyes were fixed on the dashboard as she wordlessly fought the fear clawing at her chest. A Milky Way wrapper rested there, a smear of chocolate still clinging to the corner.

“What about your friend? Is he okay? Jack gestured to the tall one who had continued a few paces up the road and stopped, looking down into the ditches that lined either side of the road, his back remaining to the car. They still hadn’t seen his face. He stood rooted to the spot, his dirty white socks anchoring him down. Jack was looking back and forth between the faceless man and the man with dead eyes. He looked at Ashley. She wanted to throw up.

“Ce…Cell phone.” She started in her seat at the croaked words. His voice was rough and hollow, the words seeming foreign to him. Like he hadn’t spoken in a long time.

“You need a cell phone?” Jack asked. “Here, you can use mine, but I doubt you’ll get any service up here.” What was he doing? A tiny voice suddenly screamed inside Ashley. That’s our only phone, our only connection with the outside world. Even if there wasn’t service surely 911 would work if they needed it to. Wouldn’t it? And now he’d just handed it over? The panic was coursing in her blood now, boiling in her ears so that her own voice sounded muffled and strange in her head. Oh my god, oh my god. We’re going to be killed. We’re going to be killed and our bodies left in the woods and our parents will never know what happened to us.

Beep. Boop. Bip. She heard the touchtones on the phone and forced herself to look over. He had the phone to his ear. Who is he calling? And why won’t his friend turn around? Why won’t he show us his face? She wanted to scream at Jack, to tell him to put the car in gear and get the hell out of here. But she was immobilized by her own fear, frozen in her seat. Now she heard the phone being snapped shut. Being handed back.

“C-c-can you take us? Ranger station?” Jack looked the man with dead eyes, then turned and faced Ashley, his own eyes large but his mouth set. He didn’t often look at her like this. Like he was actually seeing at her.

“What do you think?”

What did she think? She thought they should get as far away from here as possible. She wanted to scream at Jack to take her away from these men. She was only seventeen, she didn’t want to die alone in the forest. She wanted to shake him into action, but her hands stayed motionless at her sides. And her voice caught in her throat. Stuck.

“Ok, well I’ll take that as a yes I guess” he said when she didn’t respond, and turned away from her to face the window. “Well, I suppose we could do that. But I only have room for one of you.” The man with dead eyes looked at the back seat piled high with packs and gear. He stepped away from the car and toward the man with no face. He began to whisper in his ear. The man with no face did not whisper back. “I can come back for the other one, but you won’t both fit at the same time,” Jack called over to them. The man with dead eyes fixed them on Jack. He said nothing. Then returning to the car, he opened the back door and lowered himself in.

#

They had had to turn the car around to get back to the ranger’s station. As they pulled away, the man with no face had still not moved from his stony stance. He grew smaller behind them, an unmoving sentinel, watching out over something they could not see. They drove on in silence. The trees seemed to pass much slower this time, the curves winding on forever. Ashley stared straight ahead, acutely aware of the stale smell of rusty pipes that now filled the car, filled her lungs. It was like breathing in air from a slaughterhouse. Breathing in the dying gasps of a hundred animals sent to their deaths. She tried to focus on the clock. It was almost seven by now. Surely other cars would be on the road soon. She didn’t think she could feel safe until she saw another human being.

“Stop.” The man with dead eyes was the first to break the silence.

“What?”

“Stop the car.”

“Why?”

“Just do it. Right here.”

“I don’t know man, that wasn’t the deal.” Jack’s voice was laced with dread.

“Please?” Ashley was looking at Jack with her eyes wide and pleading. Pleading him to not let this be the car ride they ever took. He looked back at her but she could see he had already made up his mind. The car was slowing down.

“There.” The man with dead eyes was pointing his good arm to something small lying on the side of the road. Jack bent forward over the steering wheel and Ashley put her face against the glass, straining to see. It was a pair of shoes. They were men’s shoes, brown leather and worn. Jack drew the car up next to them and stopped.

“Don’t get out of the car.” He was looking at Ashley who had started to unbuckle her seat belt. “Roll down your window and look.” She didn’t know why her body moved to obey him, when every thought in her head was resisting. It was something in his eyes. A flicker of color? Or perhaps the tiniest reflection? She looked back and it was gone, the opaque smoke swirling again, casting shadows on his face. Her trembling hands found the handle, and turning it clockwise caused the glass to descend into the door. She peered out. She saw the shoes laying on the edge of the grass and beyond them the same impenetrable wall of trees, stretching in both directions. She looked back at the man with dead eyes and shrugged.

“No. Look down.” She turned back, following his instructions but seeing nothing. “Way down.” She leaned far out of the window and turned her gaze down into the ditch. It was then that she saw it. The ditch was much deeper here, more like a shallow ravine. Resting at the bottom of it she saw the greasy undercarriage of a large SUV. The vehicle was helpless as it lay upturned in the tall grass, its twisting machinery looking alien against so much green. The faint smell of burning rubber still lingered in the air. Something bothered her about the scene below her. But it was washed away by a glimmer of understanding that broke upon her, slowly at first, and then violently like waves dashed upon the wharf. She turned to face him so quickly she nearly slammed her forehead against the blue metal of the door.

“That’s your car down there isn’t it?”

The man with dead eyes looked at her.

“And the shoes…you left them to mark where it was.”

He still said nothing. Ashley pondered his silence.

“You know you walked the wrong way.” He broke her gaze, twisting his face around, staring at the seat cushions. “You would have wound up at the lake not the ranger’s station.”

“I know that.”

“Was it just the two of you?”

Silence.

Ashley nervously stole a glance at Jack who had been mute since the car had stopped. He was sitting perfectly still, his mouth slightly open, his eyes fixed on her. She tried again.

“Were the two of you alone?” She waited. And then, from the backseat, the slightest shake of a head.

“There were two others.” He finally said. His voice was still a croak, but it was softer somehow.

“Where are they now?”

His body shuddered ever so slightly as he raised his good arm and pointed.

“They’re down there?”

Nod.

“Oh.” The last drops of panic were draining out of her, but she did not feel any lighter. She felt only the burden of her own head upon her shoulders. She wanted to say she was sorry. But ‘sorry’ seemed so…small. And she felt small in that instant. It almost seemed better to say nothing than to say that. They must have all felt that way. They sat in silence. They sat for a long time.

Finally, Jack stirred from their collective reverie, putting the car into gear. When he was met with no objections he pulled out onto the road. A handful of turns later and they were at the ranger’s station. He parked in the gravel lot and went to the door. It was locked. He knocked twice, but no one came. He walked back to the car.

“I’m going to try this phone box over here,” he said, pointing off to his left. “Stay put.” She heard the crunch of his steps growing fainter, and then he was talking. She couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, but he didn’t sound like he was leaving a message. His steps returned to the car. “Well, I’ve just called 911; they’re sending an ambulance this way immediately. I don’t know where the park ranger’s are at, but the medics should be here in half an hour.” The man with dead eyes looked up at him and started to get out of the car.

“I’ll wait here.”

“Oh,” said Jack. “Okay, well we can wait with you.”

“No. You should go back for my friend.” His croaking voice sounded firm.

“The ambulance said they would pick him up after they came and got you,” said Jack. “But I guess we could go back if you wanted us to.”

“Please.”

Jack sighed, looking at his toes and kicking a pebble at the tires. “Okay. We’ll leave you here and go check on him. How’s that?” The man with dead eyes nodded. He walked off towards the telephone box and stood next to it, leaning on it heavily.

“Alright, well goodbye.” Jack turned and joined Ashley in the car. She waved through the window but the man with dead eyes did not return the gesture. When they pulled away he didn’t watch them go.

#

The man with no face had abandoned his post. When they found him, he was no longer standing upright, keeping watch. He was on the ground, his knees drawn up to his chest, his back still facing the road. He had slipped his head through the neckhole of his t-shirt, so that all Jack and Ashley could see were russet colored wisps escaping the dirty hemline.

“Hello?” Jack called from the car. “Are you alright?” The man with no face made no sound or motion to show he acknowledged their presence.

“Is he breathing?” she asked under her breath.

“I think so,” he whispered back. “Hey there! Are you Okay? Your friend is going to be just fine. He wanted us to come check on you…Hello?” The only movement was the metric rise and fall of his bony shoulders through sullied cotton. Jack turned to Ashley, “So what do we do now? He seems okay.”

“You don’t want to get out and make sure?”

“Not really. I mean he didn’t look injured.”

“Oh, and you’re a doctor now? What about internal bleeding?”

“Hey chill out. If it was internal he’d be long gone by now. I mean he’s breathing alright. The ambulance will be here soon. And there’s nothing we’d be able to do for him anyway if he was bleeding inside. I think we can leave him here.” She stared at him, doubt etched across her face.

“Do you really want to take that chance?”

“Do you really want to delay our weekend any longer?

“Yeah but we’re talking about someone’s life here Jack”

“Look, Ash, stop worrying. I got this.” He pulled away from their whispered conference and directed his voice once again out the window. “Hey! Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. There’s an ambulance on its way here. I am going to take your silence to mean you are okay to wait for it to pick you up. If for any reason you think we should stay or you need our help please speak now!” The only noise was the wind caressing pine needles. “Well, that settles it.” The car purred to life, and then they were gone, leaving him on the side of the road looking like a pupa who’d lost its hive. Then the road curved and he was gone.

#

She watched him slam the trunk shut. “Well, I think that’s everything.” He turned, a look of satisfaction on his face. “Did you grab your wallet out of your pack?”

“Yeah I got it. I can’t wait for those blueberry pancakes. I think I might have to go for the monster stack this time.”

“Yeah? See I’m going bacon cheeseburger all the way. It’s the only thing to eat after a weekend of trail food.” Jack got in and started the car. Ashley followed, plopping down beside him.

“How far away is Lazy Jane’s from here?”

“Well it’s before Eagle River so we should be there in an hour, hopefully.”

“Alright well let’s hurry up, I’m already starving.” They pulled out of the gravel lot at the trailhead and began looping their way back until they were at the ranger station and the park entrance. As they slowed through the exit lane a park ranger clad all in brown stepped out of the information booth into the path of their car. Jack stepped on the brakes, bringing the car to a sudden stop.

“Whoa! Hey what’s this guy doing?” The ranger walked up to Jack’s window, the sun glinting off his round glasses and his silvery mustache. He gestured to Jack to roll his window down. He complied. “Can I help you with something sir?” he asked. The ranger peered into the car.

“Yes, I believe you can.” His voice was like warm and crisp like sheets hanging in the sun. I’m going to need to ask you kids a few questions. Can you please step into my office?”

By office he must have meant tiny dungeon thought Ashley, as they got out of their car and followed him into the dingy, cramped room. The ranger took out a clip board and a pen and started scrawling notes on the yellowed page.

“What is this all about?” asked Jack, clearly bothered by this interruption into their lunch plans.

“I’m going to need your names and place of residence.”

“Why? We haven’t done anything wrong. We’re checking out on the day we’re supposed to.” The ranger looked at him curiously through his thick glasses. Ashley started to sense what was coming, and wondered why they hadn’t expected something like this.

“We’ve been looking for you two. Surely you must know that we would be interested in talking to the individuals who called in to report a car accident within our park.” Jack seemed a little stunned.

“Oh. That.”

“Yes. That. Now could you tell me why you didn’t stay on the scene until the ambulance arrived?”

“Umm, because we wanted to start hiking?” Jack’s reply sounded childish in Ashley’s ears. Why hadn’t they stayed?

“I see. And it didn’t occur to you that you might want to stick around to answer some questions for the police or to at least receive recognition for being good Samaritans?”

“I…I guess not.” Jack’s voice had gone from sounding puzzled to defeated.

“Well it would have saved the ambulance a lot of time that they spent wasting trying to find the wreck. As it was it took them a few hours. They almost gave up. They wouldn’t have found it had those shoes not been there to mark the spot. Did you kids do that?”

“No, that wasn’t us,” said Jack, looking at Ashley questioningly. She too was confused.

“Well why didn’t the ambulance just pick up the guy here at the ranger station?” she asked. Now it was the ranger’s turn to look perplexed.

“What guy?”

“The guy who was in the accident. We left him here. The 911 operator said they would pick him up and tend to him.”

“You’re telling me you left a man here who had been in the wreck to be picked up by the ambulance?” The ranger had stopped scribbling notes and was leaning forward in his chair watching them intently. His mustache was twitching slightly.

“Yes,” she went on. “And they said they would pick up his friend who was out along the side of the road.” She was looking at Jack for support, but his face showed only bewilderment. “Why didn’t the ambulance get them first and then go to the site of the accident?” The ranger was examining her closely, his eyes raking her face. He took a deep breath and let it out in a steady sigh.

“Look, I don’t know what you kids are playing at, but there were no survivors in that crash. So all this talk about a man at the station and a man on the side of the road…I don’t know why you’re lying about it. You’re not in trouble if that’s what all this is about. I just needed to clarify some points with you for my report. So you can stop making this stuff up.” Ashley looked at Jack in stunned silence.

“We’re not lying!” she insisted. “There were two of them. And we talked to them, well to one of them anyways. And they had two friends down in that wreck that didn’t make it. They’re the ones that put the shoes there not us!” Ashley was getting more than a little anxious in the crowded office with this barmy old ranger calling her a liar through the bristles in his shining moustache.

“Look little lady. I don’t know how to tell you plainer. The SUV we found in that ditch belonged to a Mr. Cole Parnell. There were two bodies in there: Mr. Parnell’s and his brother Seth’s. Neither was alive when we got there. That’s it. There’s no one else.”

“But…” Ashley trailed off. Her thoughts were colliding and exploding in her head. She didn’t know what to say.

“So I don’t know where you got all these ideas about talking to survivors. But I’ll tell you straight there’s just no way it happened like that. Everyone in that car died the moment it crunched and crashed its way to the bottom of that ditch. So if I could just get your names and addresses we can start clearing this whole mess up.”

His voice sounded miles away compared to the noise in Ashley’s head. It was roaring in her ears now, the panic. She was looking out the window, blinking fast, trying to catch her breath and her thoughts and her stomach from jumping out through her throat. This couldn’t be. She had seen them. She had seen the car. Wait. The car. The thing that had bothered her. It came crashing down on her now. The grass in the ditch. It was so high and green and perfect. There wasn’t anywhere that had been flattened. By footsteps of people leaving the car and climbing out of the ditch. She gasped. It couldn’t be.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost little missy,” said the ranger, his face cracking into the slightest of a smile. “I felt the same way just this morning. Thought I saw a heron. Must have been my eyes playing tricks on me. Happens to the best of us.”

“Wait, what do you mean? What about a heron?” asked Jack, apparently still able to wield control over his own voice.

“Well, blue herons have been extinct up here for years now. They used to say it was bad luck to see one, something about omens and spirits. Rubbish really. But some people believed it and started killing them off. So many that they never quite recovered. Haven’t seen a heron up here for years. It’s a shame really. I never much minded ‘em myself. Alright, if I can just get your names then…”