The issues of sexuality faced by students cover a wide range. Some common issues and concerns include normal developmental thoughts and feelings associated with sexual exploration to the more traumatic issues of sexual harassment and sexual assault.

Sex, Love, and Dating

It is normal for young adults to seek sexual expression. One of the primary developmental tasks for the college student age group is the establishment of sexual identity. This task is accomplished by sexual exploration. The "romantic" settings of study abroad and the heightened emotions of that experience may make this natural desire for exploration even stronger.

One of the primary concerns in sexual exploration is the issue of safer sex, particularly in these times of pandemic sexually transmitted diseases. If you are participating in sexual relationships, you may not know how or where to obtain condoms, for example. Address these issues prior to going abroad with the program director or other resource person to minimize potential problems.

In addition to the concerns about sexual exploration for all students, women students in particular should be aware of the stereotypes of American women, who are widely viewed throughout the rest of the world as being sexually available. American women should recognize that these stereotypes are applied to them, simply because they are American, no matter how much they may think their own demeanor provides other signals.

LGBT Resources

Study abroad is a "whole person experience," according to Anthony Ogden, a program director in Tokyo, Japan: "The parts of our identity that make us unique inevitably become part of the experience abroad." Changes in self-awareness and identity may arise when the constraints of your own culture are absent in another culture. Or you may find greater limitations about sexual orientation or acceptable behavior in effect in your host country. Cultures vary significantly in terms of how sexual identities are defined and understood.

You should be aware of your host country's attitudes about LGBT issues and behaviors, and where you may find support within or outside your study abroad program. An excellent source of additional information, including in-country resources, homestays, travel guides, relationships, safefty, and re-entry can be found at www.indiana.edu/~overseas/lesbigay.

If you have recently been on an OCS program, please fill out the LGBT Program Evaluation Form. Your feedback is very helpful for Off-Campus Studies to better address the needs and issues of LGBT students.

Sexual Boundaries

One of the outcomes of sexual exploration is the creation of healthy boundaries. A sexual boundary is the point between what is right or wrong for an individual. It is most often marked by feelings. That is, an individual knows when that boundary has been crossed because the behavior in question will cause him/her to feel uncomfortable.

While it might sound like a simple process, establishing healthy sexual boundaries is not clear even in our own culture. From family to family, boundaries may differ widely. However, some principles prevail, for example: fathers do not touch daughters sexually. When another culture is introduced on study abroad, this may confuse an already complicated situation. Again, you will sense your own boundaries by being aware of your feelings in response to certain actions or suggestions.

Two very common results from one's sexual boundaries being violated are sexual harassment and sexual assault. While these situations may sound extreme, they are far too common among college age students. Individuals victimized by sexual harassment or sexual assault experience a wide range of emotional responses. Some typical responses include guilt, shame, confusion, anger, mood swings, sleeplessness, fear, and several other emotions that could have a significant impact on the student's daily life.

The harassment and discrimination policy described in the Carleton Student Handbook applies to all Carleton seminars. Non-Carleton programs, affiliated and unaffiliated, may not guarantee the same level of protection and service. You are urged to contact your program's sponsoring institution to learn more about their harassment and discrimination policies and procedures.

Discuss with your program director the other culture's norms with regard to sexual behavior. Since women often do not enjoy an equal status with men in many parts of the world, they are treated accordingly in all relationships, especially sexual ones. Try to maintain an anthropological point of view when you are faced with these issues.

Guidelines, Discussion Questions, and Tools

Prior to departure, think about some of the following questions:

1. What are your own boundaries regarding sexual behavior?
2. How do you know when someone is being friendly? Being "too friendly"?
3. How does it feel for you when someone challenges your boundaries?
4. What are your thoughts and feelings when someone comes on to you?
5. How do you communicate your boundaries to others?

You may be unsure about when and where to be assertive in maintaining comfortable sexual boundaries. This can be compounded by being in a different culture. Be assertive, particularly by using "I" statements. The following communication guideline is widely encouraged in all human interaction, and is recommended for everyone:

"When you (name the specific behavior), I feel (name the feeling you are experiencing) I want (name what it is that you want to happen next)."

If you feel that your boundaries have been challenged or invaded, you may experience a wide range of emotions. You may turn to other people-the program director, another student or some other resource person-in which case you need to be clear about what you want and need for support and validation of your thoughts and feelings.

If someone comes to you for support, you may be at a loss for the "right" thing to say. You might say, "I'm not perfect at this, but I want to help. I might not say the right thing, but I want to work together with you to give you what you want and need right now." If you find yourself providing the support for another student, helpful phrases include:

• "This must be difficult for you."
• "This is not your fault. You did not do anything wrong."
• "Your feelings are valid. You have the right to any feelings you have."
• "I don't know exactly how you feel, but I will try to give you the best support I can."
• "I know that others in this situation would feel the same way you do."

Often these situations require the expertise of a professional. Many resources are available to assist both students as victims and students as supporters. In either case, you should feel free to consult one of the Carleton Wellness Center's counseling psychologists.

Crisis Intervention and Emergencies

The primary concern in any crisis or emergency is the health and safety of the person who has been victimized. In many situations, individuals who have experienced a traumatic event may not look like they need immediate medical attention. Therefore, it is always appropriate for supportive people to ask, "I need to ask you if you need any medical attention. Do you need to go to a hospital or seek any other help elsewhere?" It is always better to err on the side of being too thorough in situations where it is not certain what happened. It is also appropriate to ask about someone's safety, such as "Do you feel safe right now? Would you like to have someone be with you for awhile?"

If you are victimized by either sexual harassment or sexual assault, you should first seek a safe place. Talk to someone in the group or the program director for emotional support. You should receive needed medical attention and additional information with the assistance of the program director or other resources on site.

You can also call Joanne Mullen, Sexual Harassment & Sexual Assault Consultant, 507.222.4569, email jbmullen@comcast.net.

For more information visit the Sexual Harrassment and Assault Resources information from the Wellness Center.