Steven Ramey
Economics
Cottage Grove, Minnesota

A few days ago I traveled across the river to watch my best friend Brady McMahon graduate from St. Olaf. It was a nice ceremony and a beautiful day, and also surreal knowing that would be me in three short weeks. Upon receiving the senior email invitation to audition to speak at Carleton’s Commencement, I immediately thought, “there is no way I’m going to be sober enough to speak in front of 3,000 people.” (If you hear someone say they aren’t going to drink their last night at Carleton they’re a liar.) However, after attending St. Olaf’s graduation and listening to one of their students give a 10 minute ramble about how she fell down in front of a few people and learned to laugh at herself, I thought, “shit, I could do that.” Therefore, I felt compelled to ask Rob Oden after the deadline if he could squeeze me in. Understandably, he replied that the available time had been exhausted. That is why I’m writing this piece. Although there would have been some other things to go along with it, if I gave a commencement speech, I’d essentially just tell the story of the Mayonnaise Jar and Two Beers. This story was passed on to me by my father a few years ago and it is pretty much how I live my life and why I can never turn down a beer from a friend. Enjoy:

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly, and the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed again that it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up the rest of the space. He asked once more if the jar was full, and his students responded with a unanimous “yes.” The professor then produced two pint glasses of beer from under the table and poured the contents of both into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the grains of sand. The students laughed. “Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, children, health, friends and your favorite passions; things that, if everything else was lost and only they remained, would still make your life full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children, take time to get medical checkups, take your partner out to dinner and play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the leaky tap. Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities, because the rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem to be, that there’s always room for a couple of beers with a friend.”