We all want to see our friends find love. But, barring that, we're willing to settle for setting our roommates up on uncomfortable blind dates with people we think they'd like (or people we've seen around campus and think are kind of hot or at least not mentally unstable). This is the reasoning behind Set-Up Your Roommate, or, as the student body continues to call it despite official attempts to be polite, Screw Your Roommate.
It's a Shout Tradition to describe the screwing process in detail each year while making liberal use of the word "awkward", which is why I'm determined to find synonyms to use in this year's article. Basically, students scheme together to set up their roommates on blind dates, and the day of the event you're given a codename to help you find your date in the chaotic crowd at Sayles in the early evening. For example, I was "a wound" looking for "a band-aid", which was mildly disgusting. Later in the evening, we spotted someone with a nametag that said "Hot Sex", leading to wild speculation about what could be the other half of that pairing.
Campus performance groups took full advantage of the opportunity to entertain the audience filled with temporary couples. Cujokra and the Harriers, the a cappella groups, the Carleton Players production of The Living, and Lenny Dee all took their turns performing as the night went on, so students who wanted something to occupy their dates moved from the chapel to the Arena Theater to Little Nourse Theater, taking in the different productions.
The dates had wildly varied outcomes. I've spoken to several people who didn't remember their screwdates' names afterwards, but on the other hand, in some cases sparks seemed to be flying. Some pairs went to one performance and then parted ways; others stayed together until the wee hours of the morning.
For my own part, I went on a double-date that felt more like a group of people hanging out than a romantic experience, which was completely fine by me. It was a great way of getting to know people that I might not otherwise have interacted with. We got waffles at Sweet Lou's, crashed the a cappella concert toward the end, just in time to hear the Knights, and went to Lenny Dee, where we cracked up at a skit about a pair of hapless roommates who interpreted the unofficial name of the night's event as a command. At the end of the night, we parted in good spirits, having used the tradition to our own ends. I hope to keep in touch with my date in the future, which I think is an excellent outcome, at least from an event that inspires use of the word "awkward" in every article written about it. I will definitely be getting screwed again next year.