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State of the Moustache Address

March 13, 2010 at 2:05 pm
By Margaret Taylor '10

Finals driving you nuts?  Don’t worry, the Carleton Moustache Club is there to spread hope and change for all with their State of the Moustache Address.  On Friday night at Late Night Breakfast, Blake Hansen ’10, president of the Moustache Club, addressed the Carleton community about current issues in the realm of facial hair.

With the help of his VP, Drew Chambers ’10, and a few high-tech visual aids, Blake discussed the correlation between hair length and public opinion, as well as the popularity of the moustache through the ages.  The Moustache Club has been able to use a supercomputer that measures ice core samples to plot total world happiness over the course of history, and, they note, the plot of happiness and the plot of moustache popularity are a perfect match!

Sadly, moustaches aren’t very popular today.  “We live in dark times,” says Blake.  The Moustache Club seeks to promote peace and understanding of facial hair, which should cause future world happiness to skyrocket.  “Let us grow the hair of our bodies with unbridled fervor … are you with me?”

Yes, the State of the Moustache is strong.